Could homegrown shady characters be targeted by Bill C-51?

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by R.U. Sirius

According to secret intelligence gathering that’s recently been disclosed, they threaten our economic security, and they live amongst us. Day by day, investigations purport, they conspire to deny us an essential natural resource. By branching out in all provinces and territories, it’s alleged, they seek nothing less than dominance.

Recently accessed files reveal that their ‘insidious spread’ has been under surveillance for quite some time. “We’ve left no leaf unturned”, advised a source close to the scene who spoke on condition of anonymity. “They’re more than just a threat to the solar power industry. They’re enemies of our entire agricultural system.”

Known by code names maple, poplar, oak, and half ash, the clandestine growth of cells at the grassroots level has been thoroughly documented across the land. Another source, also speaking off the record in light of impending national security legislation, was blunt. “They’ve even harnessed powerful biological forces we still don’t fully understand.”

The matter of granting special powers to break the law in secret has cast long shadows across the land. Although deeply rooted denials abound, it’s known that intelligence gathering operatives have long ago twigged to the significance of deploying advanced technology for the surveillance of shady characters across the nation. “Barking up the wrong tree” has been the response of many thoughtful, informed, and concerned citizens.

Angry Tree
Local shady characters may be targeted by Bill C-51. Photo: Wikimedia the free media repository