Editor’s Note: This story’s author told us, “My wife, Nancy Martin, spent her formative years in Almonte, and we go back to visit each September from our current home in Connecticut. Last fall while in Almonte I told Bill Berry (Almonte Bicycle Works) the following story. Bill said something like, “Oh, you’ve got to get that to The Millstone.”
by David Burnett
On Christmas day almost a decade ago, as political divisions were becoming severe in the United States it was warm enough at my eastern Connecticut home to go for a bike ride. I rode a familiar route and went by a house that I had ridden by many times before. In front of that house and on the mailbox were written the words, “God, Guts and Guns Made America Great,” and a “Don’t Tread on Me” flag and a United States flag extending from the front porch.
For years I had been going by that house and, in my counterproductive and judgy way, been wasting energy and passing negative judgment on that house and whoever lived there. When I rode by on that Christmas day, there was a man barbecuing in the front yard. I had the urge to go into the yard, introduce myself, and see if I could bridge the political gap between us. I rode by the house and thought… do it! No don’t be an idiot… yes do it! A hundred or so meters past the house I turned around, went back and rode into the yard.
I said to the person, “Hello, my name is Dave Burnett, and you might be about to kick me out of your yard. For years I have been riding by your house, reading your mailbox and thinking critical thoughts about you, so here’s what we need to do. We need to get to know each other, decide to like each other and teach the rest of the country how to do it.” He, with no time to prepare for my intrusion into his Christmas day, threw out his arms, and, with a huge smile on his face, said, “Welcome Dave.” We talked for 20 or 30 minutes that day and that exchange has led to extensive contact over the years since. It did not take long to get to know the person and to get past the judgy nonsense. That process has been rewarding, comforting and enjoyable.
Jim is a wonderful person whom I have come to respect and appreciate. In my career as a social worker, I have worked with many handicapped or mentally challenged people. Jim, it turns out has, for 18 years, volunteered to house on his property and lovingly care for a man with serious brain injury and alcoholism named Donny. Jim, Donny and I have become friends. We have earnest respect for each other. On occasion, I would chide Jim with, “You know Jim, If I had my way, I’d disarm you in a minute.” He replies with, “Yeah, but you know I’m right.” We both laugh and move on.
As we got to know each other, we realized that Jim, who works for a construction company, had given a construction bid to the not-for-profit mental health center that I ran so that we could submit a proposal for building repairs that we very much needed. He did this with no guarantee that we would get the grant or, if we did, that he would get the work. When Jim lost his brother and shortly thereafter his father, I sent him a card, and we were able to talk about it.
I admire and value Jim. He is a wonderful and generous person. Jim has broadened my perspective and enriched my life. Jim is the best Christmas gift I ever gave myself.
