by Neil Carleton

Earlier today Facebook Inc. of Melno Park, California, launched Facebark, a new social media site that enables the company to creatively build on its 2012 achievements.  With over 1 billion monthly active users on its traditional Facebook network, the corporation’s prospectus notes “We’ve been able to branch out with a new opportunity for unique social connections.”

 The company’s shares were trading at $25.58 at the close of the Easter weekend trading.  There is wide spread optimism that this new venture could result in an unprecedented rally of investor confidence.  “Just imagine”, enthused a senior trader at press time, “what something like Facebark is going to do.  The company certainly left no research leaf unturned on this one.”

 Facebark is a social utility designed to connect a global market hitherto untapped.  It has the potential to serve budding billions, nay towering trillions.  The key, as outlined in company documentation, was recognizing the traditional deep roots of rural communities.  “This announcement sure has our sap flowing” was the enthusiastic response of a representative for the shady characters community in the Mississippi River Valley of Canada.