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Goose Lottery Update

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Reflections from the SwampGoose Lotto Update

Goose Lotto Update

Reflections from the Swamp
Richard van Duyvendyk

Dear Reader

Thanks to all of you who entered the Goose Lotto. This year has experienced more snow than usual, although the temperatures have been average. The ice on the pond is still solid, and the beavers are trapped in their lodges. I haven’t seen any geese flying by or landing on the pond. We have had the first starlings and a lone red-winged blackbird at the bird feeder.

I recently attended Mother Nature’s Court because Canada Geese were accused of polluting golf courses and city parks with their ample quantities of green manure. As a Canada Goose supporter, I usually attend these court cases because I can understand Canadian Goose-ese and act as a translator. I sometimes honk like a goose in my sleep, which drives my bride batty. She was happy to see me go to the conference as she would sleep soundly with me gone.

The golf course owners felt that a cull on the Canada Goose population would solve the problem of goose droppings filling the greens. They suggested we shoot the geese, with the meat given to poor people and the food bank. The geese suggested that we cull the golfers because too many of them fire golf balls at geese while grazing the fairways. The food bank didn’t want the goose meat because golf courses apply chemical fertilizers to their golf courses which would contaminate the meat. The debate went on for hours.

Mother Nature just listened quietly to the debate, as usual. She has been busy coordinating the plants and animals in their plans to start the spring season in the north and the fall season in the southern hemisphere.

Bringing on Spring is a monumental task that requires the cooperation of migratory birds, prevailing winds, the rotation of the Earth to allow for more sunlight in the northern hemisphere, and the stirring of the Earth to bring forth flowers and greenery. With a smile, Mother Nature picked April 30th as her guess in the goose lotto.

The rhinos, pandas and polar bears subcommittee tried to represent Mother Nature as best as possible. As rare species, they were sympathetic to the overpopulation problems of some species affecting others. They suggested a cull in the human population as the most beneficial remedy to maintain the balance Mother Nature seeks. A cull of humans would also reduce the number of golf courses and help control goose populations.

Surprisingly, the geese rejected calls to cull the human population. They argued that by cutting the grass and keeping it short, humans create an abundance of prime nutrient-rich grass for geese to enjoy munching on. Without humans, there would be less excellent grass to eat.

Mother Nature, although much attacked by the actions of humans, refused to intervene drastically on her own behalf. She felt that, in the long term, if humans didn’t do their part in stemming climate change, humans would suffer as much as other species. Eventually, a new balance in nature would occur without the input of humans.

Meanwhile, I’ve been sitting out on the pond waiting for the geese. The goose lotto must go on. If you haven’t joined the Goose Lotto yet, the entrance cut-off has been extended to March 18th. Use the address below to find the signup for the goose lotto. May the geese land in your favour.

https://millstonenews.com/millstone-goose-lotto/

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